It is been said that when God created Adam (peace be upon him), He created Eve from Adam’s rib while he was sleeping because when men feel pain when they are awake, they tend to hate the cause. God created her from the rib because nothing protects the heart more than the rib.
As a man past 40, with much experience, one who has fallen down and gotten back up for years, until I mastered the art of falling and rising, I asked whether I was able to stand up after falling while trying to discover what makes a true woman. In my humble opinion, a true woman does not need perfume to smell good because you can smell her perfume by looking at her smile. A true woman does not need make-up to look good; her smile opens doors to the heart, and when accepted in full, her beauty shines whether she is old or young, regardless of skin color, and whether her hands are manicured or not.
People see that she reflects inner peace, love, spirit, and joy. She is an expert at reflecting herself on those around her. Even though a true woman is true in her own unique way, she is always at her best when she is in her own world. A true woman does not need anyone to tell her that she is true, but she needs someone to help her find herself and move forward, to show her the light. The ultimate woman is the one who believes that a woman is not just a word, an alias for feminism, not just the way the world describes her.
Your woman is your guardian angel. We are all filled with feelings, thoughts, ideas, issues, and problems, and those who live with us or care about us, they only know what they see from us or from what we tell them, especially our women. Have we ever told them our secrets, shared with them our true feelings? We might have done that, but did we do that properly, and with nobility?
If we were to put some rules on a successful relationship between men and women, the top of the list would be RESPECT. It does not matter how the woman relates to you—RESPECT is the currency in a nation of quality individuals, and what is better than a quality individual?
Women tend to exercise “veto power”; so does my wife, and everyone’s wife in this room—do you agree? Have you ever considered that instead fighting this power, you should live with it and handle it with care? After all, women are fragile. What is the weapon you need to live with this exercise? RESPECT—no more, no less. The veto power that women use is a representation of her need for attention.
Women need attention; they are greedy for it, and the more you give them, the more they are attracted to you. Giving your woman attention does not mean attention to what she says. It is more about paying attention to what she feels and what she does. If you pay attention to a woman, she gives you love and respect. But this comes with training and repetition.
If we look back in history, great men such as prophets, leaders, and gods of various religions followed by million always talked about their mothers. Did they mean their biological mothers? No—they meant women, whether mother, daughter, sister, or wife. Why do you think they did that? They are all truly our mothers: You live with your woman for 10, 20, 50 years, and she becomes every one you have. You cry on her shoulder; she affects your behavior; she raises you; she takes care of you; she is everything. If you just knew how to treat your mother properly, you would live a long and happy life.
Treat a woman like a person, not like an object; treat her like you would want anyone else to treat her. Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) said, ‘The best of you are those who are the best to their women.”
You should be willing to open up, listen, and notice. When you want to air your frustration, don’t forget to ask her about what annoys her. Do you speak with your manager when he is angry about important things? It is best not to do that with your woman. Communication, compromise and consideration are the cornerstones of a relationship with a woman. The most meaningful admiration comes from a sincere heart that notices what really matters: the woman’s values and well-being. The more respect you give her, the more she will admire your values and the more she will be attracted to you and love you.
Words like “I missed you”, “I love you”, “I love hearing your voice on the phone”, “I love seeing you talking to me”, and “You look beautiful in these clothes” are great examples. My wife keeps telling the story of when my son told her that her clothes were beautiful a few months ago. He got special attention because of that.
She might have characteristics you don’t like, but don’t talk about them give her the chance to show you things you will love about her, and share her love. Let her feel that you are always with her, and don’t stop doing that because she does not notice it—one day she will notice and you will be gifted when she does. It is not just a relationship of the present; it is a life commitment. If you plant the seeds, you will harvest.
Act justly with her, and she will appreciate your wisdom and judgment over things, which will lead to respect, trust, and love.
Just as you do not abuse, neglect, or hurt your friends, do not abuse, neglect, or hurt your woman.
My last word for you, my sister, my daughter, my mother, and my wife, a word for every woman on earth, is this: A vase shows the beautiful side of the flower by hiding the thorns, and you are like a flower. You have the choice to have a vase of your own, to live and not hurt anyone with the thorns that you cannot control. Or you can live as a flower without a vase, which is judged by how much it hurts, regardless of how beautiful it is. When your man handles you with care, love that and spread your perfume over him. Let him smell nothing but you and return his love to him.
And for you, my brother, when you return home today, or even when you leave this place, call your woman, your mother, your daughter, and your sister. Tell her how much you love her and respect her, how much you want her to be with you, beside you until you are in your grave. When you talk to her at home, look her in the eye, and give her the attention she really needs. Give her a hug, the hug that she deserves.